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a review of rachel ray’s 30 minute meals -going where no man has gone before

September 30, 2009

The title may or may not be accurate, depending on how loyal male readers feel about her whole Maxim trying to break into new demographics and win new fans spread from a few years back.  The *only* hourglass pertaining and related to Rachel Ray (and this review) is the cooking sort.  Ahem.

Shocked I was to learn that Ms. Ray didn’t get her big breakthrough on the Mickey Mouse club, ala good girls turn bad Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.  No, this slice of Americana was thrown into the thick of things with her all too popular 30 Minute Meals, a cooking show of sorts whose title brilliantly and succulently sums up its entire premise (which luckily translates to less typing and Rachel Ray pondering for me).

On a positive note, most of the cooking on 30 Minute Meals is actually, well, cooking –unlike that neighboring ‘Food Network Star’ Sandra I wear different outfits and change the décor for everything I ‘cook’ Lee (more on that in a later post).  With 30 Minute Meals billed as a cooking show, that’s half the battle and, gulp, half a positive review.  Trust me, the world needs more ‘real’ cooking, so kudos for that.

“But wait” you say —-“I want negatively!  I want this little borderline talent less girl next door ripped a new one.”  Read on, my friend.

Ms. Ray has no off button.  Or maybe it was broken off, I dunno -between rambling to ‘in her head only Ya Ya Sisterhood Club’ about everything from her boyfriend become serious boyfriend become husband become mad at her husband to hangnails to what the weather was like the day she was born, no one cares.  Really, we’re worried about more important things like, um, the state of Romania’s political system circa early 20th century…

I'm peeling corn!  Corn that is!  Maize!  Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska and Minnesota account for over 50 percent of the corn grown in the U.S. Other major corn growing states are Indiana, Ohio, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Michigan, Missouri, Kansas and Kentucky.   Corn is produced on every continent of the world with the exception of Antarctica.  Corn, corn, corn, corn, CORN!

I'm peeling corn! Corn that is! Maize! What vegetable is more synonymous with the coming of summer than freshly picked corn on the cob? Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska and Minnesota account for over 50 percent of the corn grown in the U.S. Other major corn growing states are Indiana, Ohio, Wisconsin, South Dakota, Michigan, Missouri, Kansas and Kentucky. Corn is produced on every continent of the world with the exception of Antarctica. Corn, corn, corn, corn, CORN!

Okay, so she talks.  A lot.  Well, coupled with The.  World’s.  Worst.  Voice., you’ve got a serious recipe (no pun intended) for disaster.  Really –just focus on the food and cooking, please.  And fear not taking a breath more than every 15 minutes.  It’s good for the skin and may (will?) do wonders for those stressed vocal chords.

“What about the food”, you ask?  Well, hokey grub with a twist of no original thought or creativity is what it’s all about.  Think “Monkey Buns”, “Sloppy Dawgs”, and “Mini Steak on a Stick”.  No, I’m not pulling lines from Office Space, nor am I citing TGI Friday’s latest ‘food’ offerings.  Attempting to be cute titles would be a passing thought if the grub’s worth its weight.  Well, it’s not.  Far from it, in fact.  Sloppy Joes?  Processed sticky buns?  Yea, think I’ll pass.

And I’ll also pass on 30 Minutes Meals and that whole Maxim spread thing….thank you very much.

Rachel ray thumbs down

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Michele permalink
    October 2, 2009 9:42 am

    Yes, she is as annoying as they come. All her “cooking” seems to be the same old, same old. But I agree that at least it’s cooking, and not “almost home-made” or whatever. Keep up the great work! Fun to read!!

  2. October 3, 2009 9:11 pm

    Great review. Enjoyed reading your post.
    I am not crazy about her recipes but, I am not so sure I would have been as critical of her.

  3. Julia Childs permalink
    October 21, 2009 9:22 pm

    I felt compelled to drag myself up out of my earthen tomb to congratulate you on this entry. Corn dogs and its ilk have no place on the “FOOD Network” (emphasis added). Look, one cannot expect the whole world to be culinarilly savvy, but this show is just ridiculous. No creativity. No invention. No innovation. No Challenge…. No interest.

    I’d still do her, though..just saying

  4. Rachel Ray permalink
    October 21, 2009 9:27 pm

    Oooooh. Myyyyyy. Goooodddddd!!

    Julia Childs!!

    You’re like…Soooooooooo Awesome! I mean, like soooo, totally….. Awesome..

    You’re like such a good cook and like so talented, and you like so totally work that whole funny voice and hunch back thing..you. got. it. going. on.

    I mean, when I was a kid growing up in Glens Falls New York, where, by the way, we had the MOST amazing autumns ever… I mean, have you seen the fall foliage up there? Its like to. die. for. speaking of to die for, have you ever had a molten lava cake?! those are AAAmazing! not unlike real lava and volcanoes… I mean, those are awesome and all, but not as awesome as the dessert, because , um hellloooo??? CHOCOLATE!!!!

    wait, what was I saying?

  5. November 19, 2009 12:45 pm

    well she is annoying but her recipes are easy and for the average joe they seem to do the trick. admittedly i like Giada better 😉

  6. fatima permalink
    May 26, 2010 12:55 pm

    your program is very good

  7. December 28, 2016 3:55 am

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